A Special Mother-Daughter Trip to England — at 86

Age is just a number, as they say, and this mother-daughter duo proved it with a trip across the pond. Longtime Ciao Bambino fan and client Becky O’Grady recently packed her bags for a UK adventure with her mom, Jackie Castle, who remains active and adventurous well into her 80s. Their trip is a beautiful reminder of just how much travel has to offer as we get older, and how it can deepen the bond between aging parents and the adult children who’ve long since launched into their own busy lives.

CB Senior Travel Advisor Susan Robinson planned every detail of their journey, making sure the trip was as comfortable as it was memorable. We caught up with Becky to hear all about it.

Q&A with Becky O’Grady: Reflecting on a Special Mother-Daughter Trip

Ciao Bambino: You recently traveled to the UK with your mom, who is in her 80s. Can you share a bit about your itinerary and logistics?

Becky O’Grady: Yes, my mom is 86 and we planned an eight-day trip to London, (where my son lives), along with time in Bath, the Cotswolds and Oxford (where my mother studied for a summer when she was younger). While in London, we spent a good amount of time with my son. The two of us continued on to Bath by train and rented a car to visit the Cotswolds, then back toward Oxford and London. The streets are cobblestoned and uneven in places. It’s a lot physically and intellectually to take in, but having the flexibility of the car, once I got the hang of driving on the other side of the road, was really helpful.

She loved the Cotswolds — it’s that quintessential English countryside. We went to [textile designer and author] William Morris’s home, which was a big high for her. And Highgrove, King Charles’ estate. We drove back and spent some time in Oxford and then finally saw my son once again in London.

My mom is very active; she does yoga and swims every day, so she was up for the travel and had a million ideas about what to do. The approach, though, was less is more, one primary outing to anchor our day around. If we were feeling like we had [the] energy, we could tackle more, but I didn’t want to feel rushed. The point of the trip was to spend time together, see some highlights and just enjoy. This also allowed for some serendipity! We got back to London and I asked her if she wanted to see Hamilton, which she hadn’t seen, and we went the next night.

CB: What were the most rewarding and fun, and also the most challenging, aspects of the trip?

BO: It was incredibly special to see my mother with my son while we were in London. It was very important to her to be able to experience his day-to-day life … to walk his neighborhood, pop into the grocery store where he shops, see where he gets onto the Tube. During the rest of the trip, longer dinners and car rides allowed for the two of us to just talk about all the things you share as a mother and daughter, things you aren’t necessarily going to get into during a phone call during the week. She said to me at one point, “I haven’t spent this much time with you one on one since you were in high school.”

At this stage, with elderly parents, there is a bit of a role reversal, and this is where I was very conscious of wanting to taking care of my mom. Parallel to when you’re traveling with young children, I felt a similar level of responsibility to make sure she was safe, well and enjoying herself, and that we were getting breaks and rests.

CB: What were some of your favorite things you saw and did? Anything your mom really enjoyed in particular?

BO: My mom has a PhD in English and she’s a very active reader; she loves history and biographies. There were several times she was fact-checking our guide — it was pretty hilarious, but showed how engaged she was. I was texting my sister telling her all about it.

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CB: Since you weren’t tied to school breaks, how did weather and season factor into your timing?

BO: My mom was working until she was nearly 70 and I’m still working full-time myself. While we’re not bound by school schedules, we still had to keep ideal timeframes in mind, and also when my son was available. We knew we didn’t want to go in the peak of summer, so we settled on spring, around Mother’s Day, and it was special that three generations of us could be together during that time.

The weather was a little chilly; we hit a bit of a cold snap during the week we were there, so we had our layers on, but it was still pleasant.

CB: What did it mean to both of you to share this time together, especially as we all get older?

BO: This wasn’t my trip in the sense that I had to see this or that; this was her trip, I wanted her to see what she wanted. I wanted that so much for her. For me, it was just about being with her. The travel creates that time — it’s just a totally different level of being together. You’re roommates for eight days. You get to see how someone is really doing, how they’re handling and coping with things physically, mentally. She would be up before me and had her yoga mat out, stretching, so disciplined.

I could see what quality of life looks like for her at 86. It’s not just about aging as time goes on, but the quality of aging. I can see how intentional she is at this stage in her life about how she spends her time, how she stays connected within the communities she’s active in. She wasn’t giving me just words of wisdom but living it. [She’s] just such an amazing role model and showed me you have to build your own life. Her curiosity is so inspiring.

It makes me feel incredibly close, proud and protective of her. She talked a lot about looking at this last chapter of life … the importance of community, connection and the choices that we make. She was just so grateful to have the time together. I’m hoping there will be more of these, but you just never know, so it’s that much sweeter.

CB: You mentioned wanting more of these trips with your mom. Has that experience changed how you think about travel with your kids as they build their own lives?

BO: It gets increasingly difficult to get on your kids’ schedules. When they start working, the idea that they only have two to three weeks a year of time off, and they have to prioritize within that — it’s an interesting shift. But if you plan great trips, they will come.

Our kids have been amazing places, and they love it. Our annual big trip as a family is a cornerstone; it’s part of the way our family connects and bonds. It’s our tradition. It grounds our year. We always decide before or at least have a narrowed down list of places we’d like to explore the following year as we wrap up our trip.

It’s a lot of time and it’s a big expense, but the cost of having someone who’s been there adds such a layer of reassurance and comfort. You feel like a real, genuine local. I’m usually doing a good deal of the planning, but having someone like Susan (who has known my family for years) advise on logistics and unique experiences is invaluable. She has suggested things we had no idea about and would have never found on our own.

Relevant Links:

Browse all ideas for empty nest travel on Ciao Bambino

How family travel changes at every age and stage

9 great places for family vacations with adult children

10 ideas for a memorable mother-son vacation

10 amazing mother-daughter getaways around the world

Photos by Becky O’Grady. 

Editor’s note: This post was accurate when published. We advise checking independently for the latest information and updates. Ciao Bambino does not accept responsibility or liability for any errors or omissions in, or for any actions taken based on, the information presented.